My star is shining
And i am afraid of myself. Too bright, too shiny, too much. Straight into the trap of judgement. Judging myself of being too lazy, too laid back, will never learn, will never manifest anything.
Just because i slept in today. After a week where i hardly slept in the nights. A bit of an exhaustion around and a feel like i burned the candle from all ends. Can‘t come into a rythm today. .
That is were the judgement kicked in and made it even worse. And this part of mine, lets call it „the judge“, knows no mercy once it gets going. Totally resistant against the changes in me and showing me my lower self in full blossom in all the darkest shades existing. .
I am writing about it.
A moment where the light, my light, managed to send a beam through that fog which i started to create around myself (again....pattern recognized). Fed by the fear of „being me“ and spiraling down old slopes which is a well trodden path. Still in the system and the entrance obviously not yet overgrown by the new plants seeded, so rather easy to access. .
The seeds need some tender loving care, some extra love, a good portion of humour, a walk in the park, everything which nurtures and nourishes them but that dark stuff which makes them afraid to stick their heads out of the ground.
Some good humored discipline called for to change this pattern. Put attention to growth instead of distruction.
Making room for love and light so that they can grow into the sky. Wild and untamed. To shine their light with me and through me. .
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