I don’t know how do I start off with this, but, you know me.
Ironically, being best friends, our relationship, is one sided because you get me, much more than any other person who’s just known me for a year would and I don’t know you, much.
And being someone who’s had so many faulty experiences with friendships in life, you really have no clue how hard that was for me to say.
You know, you call yourself an extrovert, but honestly, you’re not.
You tell me that we’re good friends and still you don’t trust me enough to be open about your feelings.
I know everyone has their own personal space and its totally cool with me that even you have one, but what’s not cool is that how easily you tend to get what and how and feel, so much that I am so open about my feelings with you, in such a short span of time so I guess I can expect a bit of something from your side too, no?
Talking about feelings, yes, I’ve successfully hidden my ‘giddy-giddy’ feelings towards you, since a very long time, well, gotcha!
So much that even when I indirectly tell you about how I feel, you take it in a friendly way.
Well, this might sound really weird to you, but I remember all of our late night conversations, by heart and everytime you send me posts of how good we are, together (just as friends, obviously.) it makes my heart skip a beat.
I know I’m a fool to think about being with you, but trust me, people go from best friends to lovers, all the time, but finding a lover in a friend with whom you have one sided best friendship, this shit, is quite difficult.
But you know what, I’m glad that you don’t know about it and trust me, I don’t even want you to.
Because I know you hate love, as much as I do and you want it to be as pure and as magical, as much as I do.
Moreover, loosing what we have right now over something as love?
Well, I cant afford that much.
Moreover, if you feel the same, by any chance, just don’t bother telling me, alright, because I’m still not ready for so much of adrenaline in my body and something so complicated,
Anyway, I do get your dog obsession, so, any extra points on that, maybe?
Monday Music + Lyrics: I stumbled upon @wearefrenship
through a @spotify
playlist and man, am I so happy I did. The epic nature of their music makes me feel the magic of the everyday, driving through Los Angeles at sunset with one of their tracks on in the background, incomparable. This song in particular ‘Carpet’ at first listen sounded all too familiar from a situation I once found myself in. The lyrics pierced me right from the get, “I’m living with I told you so, and these feelings get a little bit old. On the cusp of getting it right, but it never is black and white.” To me, the song embodies that temptation of wanting to return to old patterns but knowing that they ceased for a reason. It could be as easy as getting back together with someone, moving back home, going back to that job, but we outgrow these situation-ships for a reason. At this current time, it is reminiscent of two separate times in my life, how difficult it was to leave home and how difficult it was calling it quits with the person who held my heart. Both of which, I now realize, were simply difficult to leave behind the familiarity and step into the unknown. Sure, I could’ve stayed in that relationship and remain simply content or stay home give up the wild dreams and live a stable secure life. But I would indeed be stretching myself thin only to make others happy.
What are you guys listening to today? Leave me a comment so I can shout out your favorites out next week!
w + P •••
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