Who has two thumbs and had a meltdown in a shopping centre carpark? This girl!
Yesterday I woke up feeling really well so I wanted to tackle one of my goals which was to go to my local shops. It's quite a large #shopping
centre. I got all ready, put my #makeup
on and we got in the #car
. As we got closer my heart sped up and I started to panic. Luke pulled into a carpark and I was trying so hard to keep my shit together. I was petrified of getting out the car and having so many people look at me. I haven't been out in public in places with more than a few people around for so long.
Luke was beautiful the whole trip, assuring me that we can turn around at any time and it didn't matter that I couldn't do it this time.
I'm harder on myself and hate failing. I was just so sure that I was mentally prepared, but I'm obviously not. I've had a lot of #physical
success (getting the disability equipment I need) this year so I naively just assumed my head would follow. I'm just pissed now because how long until I can go and do normal things like this? I don't exactly have all the time in the world.
When we got home we went for a little walk around the streets and I felt better. I was on the verge of tears many times but did not want to ruin my makeup and look like a #depressed
On a completely different note, it's exactly a year since my story was on the front page of @boredpanda
and most of you guys found me. I'm so grateful that I get to share all my word vomit with everyone here. You've been so supportive and I can't thank you enough. You raised $5k for Muscular Dystrophy charities, $4k for Luke's birthday #holiday
, and so many of you are offering support and donating to help with my medicine/general expenses. Plus we made tshirts for non inspirational cripples! (The story, donations, and tshirts are in my bio link). How did you find me? Are you an original pre Boredpanda fan who claims you knew about me before I became so incredibly famous 😉? #disability #musculardystrophy #voluntaryassisteddying #mentalhealth #depression #wheelchair #chronicillness #HollywiththeMD #hollywarland #cat #wheelchairwoman #cannabis #weed