TRIGGER WARNING // You pushed me against the wall, your hands too tight around my neck.
Your hands taking parts of me that weren’t meant for you.
My body became a beacon of shame.
It could never be small enough.
Each rib I could see, became a reminder of the bruises that once covered the skin that housed them.
I became something of a ray of light.
A protective halo rose over me.
My eyes bright and blue, my skin iridescent against a darkened sky.
Purity could save me.
The hidden essence of my sexuality pushed into the same corner you backed me into.
There is an ember blooming within the depth of my being.
My body remembering what it is to sway and moan, to feel the cravings it always desired.
My breasts no longer bound, my obsession with the perception of virtue wilting, leaving, healing.
I was not born into this world to be placed on a pedestal.
Made into a porcelain doll you can carve yourself into.
I am a living, breathing being meant to occupy space, my body filled with longing desire, an insatiable appetite for more.
I no longer answer to those who marred my body.
I no longer succumb to shame.
I am whole. I am wanting. I am flesh and blood, so much more than withering bone.
A collision of fire and ice.
The feminine reborn.
One of the hardest pieces I have ever written. Sexual assault... every being handles it differently. I have been in a spiral of chasing purity my entire life. Choosing to only sleep with one person, refusing to see myself as a sexual being even if I crave the collision with another just as much as others. This post is pure vulnerability, but after speaking to a group of young girls about sexual assault... an important one. When I was hurt, I turned my sexuality into a sin. I starved myself. I hated my breasts, my hips, my waist. I blamed them, for something they didn’t do. One in three women will be raped or sexually assaulted at some point in their life. 51.1% percent of female rape and sexual assault victims are attacked by an intimate partner. What we face everyday is not something small or insignificant. I am learning to love my body, from watching other women reclaim theirs.✨
It is the first seven years of experience in which the consciousness of a child builds a foundation, and establishes how it identifies with the nature of reality. 90% of the subconscious mind is shaped by what is introduced to it as children: the culture it is raised under, the belief system and interests of the parents, the given nationality, the ethnicity, the depth of education, etc. By the time a child is eight years old they have developed an ego, an identity, a sense of self that has been intricately built upon and interwoven into the foundation of their prior experiences. Unlike the observing mind of an infant, whose prefrontal cortex has yet to fully develop self-awareness, the mind of an eight year old has already found comfort in perceiving the world from an understanding of "I am". I AM a girl. I AM a boy. I AM Christian. I AM Muslim. I AM American. I AM white. I AM black. The social construct of the modern human world is ego-systematic rather than eco-systematic, and in many ways, this is the seed of corruption in our world today. A child that has been conditioned to define themselves by the expectations, normalities or culture of the world around them inevitably grows into an adult that is a product of the world around them. They are not truly an individual, not truly an advocate of change; instead, they are blind to the compression of themselves, becoming just another gear in the collective machine. Anyone who has ever succeeded at changing the world had to change themselves first. They had to unravel themselves down to the very essence of "I" and reconnect with who they were before the world told them who to be. #arlucas
Struggles of an awkward creative person :
1. Approaching people for anything is a task.
2. Trying to click/get clicked invites stares which is difficult getting used to.
3. What's with aunties asking "baal kyu katvaye?" Mera sar hai aunty, aap bhi kata lo. 🤷🏻♀️
4. The longer you stare at your pictures, the uglier they get.
5. Music is your best friend. It can be used to avoid awkwardness in public scenarios, can be used to avoid your own thoughts about it, can be used to mend your life.
6. It's difficult to NOT get inspired by something that's already been created. Don't copy! Put your own twist if you have to and DO NOT forget to credit the artist. Creating anything is a time consuming process and it'll be a lot simpler for all of us if we just learn some basic rules of sharing each other's content.
7. Criticism comes in all shapes and sizes. Avoid the negative. Approach improvement with the healthy one.
8. At the end of the day, create what you want to. Why be one thing when you can be a dancer, singer, blogger, artist all in one? Break the rules.
9. Breaking the mundane tone of things is difficult. Use your inside voice to create your art. It's a good escape.
10. Read all of the above.
#ThatsWhatCSaid #Artidote #TheArtidote #ThingsThatMakeYouGoHmm #ArtidoteAndChill #WritersOfInstagram #Typewriter