~~~ OF MANY FIRSTS ~~~
Yesterday was my 2nd day at my new job. More than 3 months ago, one fine day, I put down my papers at my old job. I was tired, drained out, and quitting felt like freedom. I had no idea what I wanted, or needed to do, except that I wanted to feel happy again.
I had by then understood that whatever it was that I was looking for, wasn't in a bigger paycheck, or a better dress, or in a man's company (and definitely not in his bed 😏) but I didn't know where it was! After I left my workplace on 15th Dec 2017, I had days, I swear to God, that were so so so hard, that I didn't know how to stop crying, or how to stop feeling so..sad. I didn't know what to do, I didn't know where to find what I was looking for, if it even exists.
So I stuck to things I knew. Like dance. I joined a 3 month intensive dance course at a very reputed dance school in my city. It gave me the discipline I desperately needed. I realised that I was under depression, and I had been like that for God knows how long. I considered therapy, and talked to friends and family who understood me. I started thinking about all the choices I had made so far, and the choices I needed to make. And slowly, ever so slowly, I started to get back on track. I deleted my obsessive social media accounts. I started appearing for interviews. Finally I made it through a firm where my thirst to learn is appreciated.
As I stood by the window of my extremely pretty co-working space, with green tea seeping in my mug, after an intensely productive afternoon, I realised in that moment, that this is what happy looks like. And for the first time, I didn't feel like making an Instagram story out of it.
Image Courtesy: @melourra