10.18.16 Ibiza, Spain.
I’m not sure why I ever decided to post my travel photos separately from my “artist” Instagram account. Since leaving Canada I have shed so many layers and so many masks connected to my perceived identity. I didn’t realize until recently how much I was hiding underneath the armour of “I’m an artist” using it as a justification to be different, weird, broke, misunderstood, and so on. How much I had shaped my beliefs about who I am around that limiting narrative. Now when people ask what I do I find it very difficult to answer. “Everything and nothing” I tell them. Right now I’m living in Egypt and am launching a Creative Wellness Event Space out of my home. It’s called Heart Space ❤️ I’m teaching abstract art workshops which are along the lines of art therapy, doing freelance life coaching, hosting guided visualization meditations, teaching Hatha & Yin yoga classes, leading Women’s circles and full moon and new moon ceremonies. I’m selling homemade vegan food at the local market. Planning to host workshops on conscious eating, moving from confusion to clarity, and vocal activation. I’m starting work on a participatory art installation. I’m planning to host a wellness retreat. I’m doing oracle card readings and brainstorming a vegan restaurant menu. I’m planning to paint murals and create mandalas out of upcycled materials. I’m writing random poems and blog posts. Artist, creator, healer, teacher, coach, yogi, traveller. These labels feel so limiting. I am everything and nothing. I wish the girl in this photo knew that back then, but she had to unlearn everything she thought she was first.
We present ourselves as the sum of our experiences and built up belief systems. This self we present is the professional survivor to date whom has learned over the years what you want and what you’re willing to survive without. Connection and affection came at a cost when you were younger as a toddler and even into our teenage years. We are dealing with the sum of experiences in one another..consider having understanding none of us got here over night. It’s been a long trajectory and a lot of things took place for us to get here some good some bad.
Hello there, world :) It has been awfully long since our last post and I don’t even know where to begin.
So I guess I will begin by just saying that we are doing great. Although I was managing to find zillion reasons to get depressed every now and then (read: “every-almost-all-the-time”) I really have no reasons to complain on life. Life is so good it gives me shivers :) This past year has been extreme to a level that is hard to describe. It already started with a birth of Amalka almost two years ago, when I completely lost my identity, got confused on my beliefs and value system and developed increased amounts of fear that I never experienced before. And to top it off, I decided to quit EY after almost 11 years and joined probably one of the most demanding and high paced companies there was. The combination of the two almost destroyed me in the last 10 months, but I am finally at the moment where I feel that I reached my rock bottom, and started climbing back up again as a new and stronger (one would wonder how much stronger one could get hehehe) person.
In this period I not only left the social media world, but I gradually stopped keeping in touch with everyone of my friends and I can’t find words to express my greatfulness to those who continue to stick around; who keep calling though I never call back; who keep sending postcards and messages; who just send good vibes to me and Amal that we always feel and accept :) I want to keep this post short, as I really really really want to get back to regular writing and posting. So hopefully you will hear from me more about my adventures, experiences, challenges, feelings and all the life. I feel that expression has always been a big part of me, especially expression in writing in recent years; and I feel as I stopped being myself I found it harder and harder to write; and as I stopped writing and expressing myself I found it harder and harder to be myself :) Till the time I succeed again :) Loads of love and farewell!
PS turns out I wouldnt be able to write a much longer post, not enough characters... #comingback #hello #momlife #identity #singlemom #singleparent #upsanddowns #writing