Freedom is just a new thought away 💃
Words I wrote today. Part of my past. I did jump. The question was asked today “What makes me incredible” and this was my answer. Sending out strong vibes today to anyone who needs them. I didn’t feel brave then, I felt scared. Looking back I now see that I was brave. I made the right decision. I still struggle with thoughts, flash backs, and emotions but I don’t live there with them. I keep my eyes forward and count the positives in each day, the opportunities that continually unfold right in front of me, and all the loves I have in my life now ☀️
Today it has been 3 years since you passed😢 I can remember most everything from that day. I relive it many nights before I fall asleep 😢 You are sooo terribly missed. Sloan is starting to ask where you are and that he misses you, even though he is only 3, but he knows we talk about you all time and visit the cemetery with him. Him and Kayden picked up so many broken flowers that were on the lawn and put them under your Niche, it was so precious. Annie Derek came for the first time💕 We took the kids to the park after and we sat down, I turned around and the tree had a heart on it and then the tree next to it had a D and a heart ❤️ We were blown away with the one with the D on it!! We also got one of your favorite foods, Mexican food for lunch♥️♥️♥️ Grief never goes away, but God also never goes away. God has giving us strength. Shows us what love looks through such an amazing family! We miss you sooo much but know one day we will see you again and oh what a day that will be.#itsbeen3yearssinceyoupassed
😢 #johnderekbornon316 #wemissyoulikecrazy
💙 #cfsucks #cysticfibrosis #cysticfibrosisawarenessmonth
🌹 #heavenisforreal #godsnotdead #amazinggrace
😇 #courageous #brave #love #faith #hope
🚨 STOP beating yourself up!
🤔All those thoughts of not being good enough, skinny enough, pretty enough, successful enough and liked enough... it's all lies
🥰 It's ok to feel off, have down moments, not "feel" like it and not have a perma grin on😁 It's ok to give at the capacity you have that day, not everyday will be perfect. It's ok to not have the energy of the Energizer 🐇 It's ok to be you
🦄You are here for a reason and it's placed in your ❤ You are meant to do what your passionate about. Your meant to have dreams of who you want to be
🦄COMMENT with a 💕 if you have dreams
💖You are #authentic #compassionate #loved #loving #worthy #smart #funny #successful #brave #unique #gifted #thoughtful #generous #driven #strong #grateful #happy #beautiful
Last night I attended the Arts Community Power Conversation organized by @c4atlanta @artisking
with the help of @alternateroots
held at @hammondshouse.
The event’s purpose was to facilitate a conversation about power in the ATL arts community. It was ground breaking for Atlanta - an example of servant leadership at its best.~
In recent months more artists and members of the community have spoken out regarding their experiences of ill treatment by specific influencers/arts leaders. The “code of silence” is being dismantled through courageous voices of solidarity.~
What made this event important? It was a direct effort to communicate with our community about the hard issues. Issues involving power dynamics that have been brushed under the rug for decades, that often had heavy consequences for those that spoke out.~
These non-profits wasted no time providing a safe place for voices to be heard; suggested solutions to be taken seriously. For those that didn’t attend (especially arts leaders, board members), you definitely missed out. Good thing is, there will be more events. My wish is for more ATL arts organizations/businesses to host solution-oriented dialogue and implement those solutions for a safer and stronger arts community.~
Opinions are my own, I welcome you to participate in creating a safer arts community.~
#leadership #ServantLeadership #controversial #Courage #HardTopics #Listen #SafeCommunity #Suggestions #Solutions #ATL #Arts #art #artists #creatives #nonprofit #funding #Boards #ArtsCommunity #community #Brave #Accountability #KeepPushing #C4Atlanta #ArtIsKing #AlternateRoots #HammondsHouse
I just met up with my Mom to pickup my dog.
As is the norm, she started screaming at me before I even got there.
In fact she started screaming at me when I was one minute late via phone and then for the entire ten minute in person interaction that followed.
That’s usually how it goes so it wasn’t much surprise.
But it always sucks no matter how braced I am.
I was just in a particularly bad place to handle it - today’s been weird and uncomfortable, at best.
She yelled and scolded and criticized.
About how I should be using steroids for my skin and how I’m an idiot because I’m not.
About how I need to “get it together” and stop messing up and eating off diet, no empathy whatsoever.
She told me the medical medium probably won’t even work to heal me.
That it’s just a fad.
About how I need to get a therapist for all my issues.
How I need to make more money.
How I’m doing this wrong and that wrong and the other thing wrong.
She tore, as she always does.
The whole of me to the ground.
Everything was my fault and there was no mercy.
And as I sit in the car crying (no pity, just reality), I wonder how I survived so many years of this and why I continue to engage at all.
I finally learned that I didn’t need to accept abuse from anyone last spring and yet still, here I am.
Some of you who have read posts about my parents and especially my Mom may wonder the same.
And I’ll say this.
It’s not easy to grow up with an abusive and unstable parent in a complex codependent relationship.
It sets you up for big work in adult life especially when you don’t fully catch on to how wrong it all is until your late twenties.
It’s also not easy to walk away from the only family you have, even when they are the most toxic people you know.
I feel so much shame writing this.
So much shame every time I feel angry and hurt by my Mother and my parents.
So much shame for still being in this cycle.
Like it’s all my fault.
And I have to keep remembering it’s not and it never was.
And I am strong enough to walk away, clean break.
Whenever I choose.
Because I am no longer available for things that make me feel like shit.