I have a confession to make. You ready?
When I’m absent from social media, it’s because I’m not proud of anything I have going on at that moment, so I’m not sharing.
I’ve been stuck in front of the television 📺 watching useless programming to forget that I’m not proud of what I haven’t accomplished that day. For days. All week? Sometimes. You can see how turns into an ugly spiral.
I believe in being real. I don’t apply filters often and I don’t lie when I do post. But is that the same as being honest? Maybe not. My excuse is I believe in perpetuating positivity, but really I’m just ashamed. 🌀
I just had an “aha” moment yesterday.
If anyone is familiar with how a #networkmarketing
company works, they heavily use motivation tools to get their reps fired up. Monthly bonuses, paid for holidays, freebies (that you’ve earned). They love to reward hard work!
I was watching a training about some events coming up that would be ahMAZing to attend. And I was told “put it on your vision board. Keep track of your qualifiers. Manifest it and it will come.” Now don’t get me wrong, I 💯 believe in the #lawofattraction
. It has benefited me much in this life. But I started hearing myself respond “yeah it works, but not for me.” ☹️ (my life has been too easy, and sustaining hard work is not something I’m good at, it turns out)
I’ve been in a funk for a while, but the topper was when I was legit all ready to go to an event in the fall, plane ticket and hotel booked, and I still didn’t go. Oh sure, there are circumstances and people to blame. But were those the truth, or the excuses?
If I’m practicing 100% responsibility, then I still failed somewhere, and my aha moment was this: I believe, under all the hype and expectation, that I didn’t DESERVE that trip. I don’t DESERVE the opportunity that is literally on my head.
Oh, I want it, and on the surface, sure, I think anyone can do this.
But only if we get out of our own way. I am totally a self-sabotager, but a sly, sneaky one and I didn’t even notice.
I didn’t realize how much in my way I was.
I started reading the @msrachelhollis
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